Values

On the writing course I’m doing this week I’ve been asked to make a list of my values. This is an interesting one because, although I have strong values, I’ve never really sat down and thought about them in any detail.

My values include: kindness, honesty, openness, compassion, empathy, integrity, authenticity, good humour, creativity, independence, adaptability, acceptance, equanimity, equity.

There’s also a question about whether I feel I am on a path that aligns with my values. This is another great thing to consider as we go through our day to day life; am I doing what feels right to me or am I way off track? If we have values and goals that don’t align with how we’re living, this causes all sorts of conflict within us. If we don’t know where we’re headed and just get stuck in jobs that don’t mean anything to us, or relationships that make us unhappy, life can feel unmanageable.

For me, the most chaotic, unmanageable and worst time emotionally in my life is what put me on the right track to work out how to get to a happier, healthier and more relaxed life.

Now, I am travelling on the right path for myself, partly because I’m quite relaxed about how things will turn out. Pressure doesn’t work for me, I’m much happier going with the flow. I learned not to overwhelm myself with having too many deadlines to adhere to. Although I have a lot of things going on, I just let them all unfold slowly and steadily. I know I’m hardworking, but I’m also good at looking after myself and doing what works best for my mental and physical health. I learned all this from being burnt out by my late teens from all the pressure I put on myself and all the pressure I felt from elsewhere and not being able to handle it. I don’t believe in staying stuck and unhappy, I saw what it did to my Mum.  

You have to make the choice to be happier, it won’t just happen outside of you, it comes from you. To get things moving in the right direction, it helps to take breaks from your hectic, unmanageable life so that you can see things more clearly. I did this in a drastic way by leaving England for over a year to work out how to just ‘be me’. However, the way I keep on track is to regularly give myself space to just be. You take time out of my day to day life in many ways that don’t involve a trip around the world!

I’m grateful that I’m able to coach other people now to find and align with their authentic path through mindful exercises, meditation, massage and many other wellbeing practices. This is my path because I live by my values.