I’ve had many changes in my life since the age of 9, but not so many and so devastating as the deaths of my Grandma, Nan and Grandad within 9 months. Within this time my Mum had two strokes and was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I read something that really made sense to me about grief recently, that it’s something to be endured, not got over. It’s a part of who I am now, along with everything else that was always there already.
So, it all got me thinking, as these things do. All these people that mean so much in my life are suddenly not here anymore, as well as that obviously being quite depressing, it also led me to realise I need to get on and do what I have always really wanted to do with my life. So, I decided to apply for an MA in Fine Art. But…I have always put off making artwork over the years because of a nagging feeling that everything else was more ‘worthy’ of my time. I had both a working class and academic upbringing so I think for this reason I never felt I ought to pursue my artistic side. But it’s a huge part of who I am and is the only thing that authentically makes me feel myself. The result of not having a solid art practice and not having much recent work to show to the Fine Art tutor at my interview, was that she very sympathetically advised me to spend the next year building up a portfolio and immersing myself in all things arty. Part of me isn’t sure now that doing an MA is necessary, although I would love it, maybe I wonder if it would be too high a level for me. So, I’m going to log my artistic development here to give me an outlet as well as a focus.
Briefly, my main interests have always been centred around how women are represented (first as Goddesses to be revered and more recently as sluts and everything in between) and also many aspects of trees. Sometimes, the two of these overlap for me…as I hope to show. Other inspirations include recurring dreams, twisted logic, spirals, self-portraits and abstraction.
The above photo is of a wall in my house covered in a small selection of the art postcards I’ve bought over the years, all images that inspire me in some way.
Below is a self-portrait (which my husband says is not very flattering).